Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
