So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
