No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
