In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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