we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That accounts for only three of the penises
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
