We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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