Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
