After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize