i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
