all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
