If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize