Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
