We named our party play list daddy issues
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
