Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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