my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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