as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
