PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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