it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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