Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The air was thick with penises
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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