I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
