Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The Olympian is in my bed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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