Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
