She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
