so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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