whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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