and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
