Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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