Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
