I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize