your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
