you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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