So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
