Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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