Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I love you. Go after that dick
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
