I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This house was built for laser tag.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Randomize
