Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
