I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
