this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
