I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize