420 ftw
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
