hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Can you bring me the toilet please
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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