I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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