Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
