His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
