wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
