How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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