if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
