Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize