Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
