She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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