know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
