I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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