Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
