what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you will always have a special place in my vag
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
