dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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