I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
