Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
