Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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