hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
