Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
