Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
