At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
